Day 15: 30 Day Challenge Conquered!

I can't believe it's the last day of June... this month has flown by, but all in all it's been a pretty good month for me (minus how sick I was).  "Mom" got home safely and I got to text her yesterday...it was the best text I've gotten all year!  Most of you don't know that she is the person that inspired me to start blogging.  She's always thought that my story would help me do good in the world.  I don't know if my blogging helps other people or if it just helps me, but regardless she was right.  I feel good about my blog and I love interacting with my readers.  So, in honor of her homecoming and the last day of my 30 day challenge (which was also inspired by her), I've created a little welcome home present that I'm going to share with her and you all!

Do I look any different?

Jordan looks great, doesn't she??

Lucy on the left, Mr. Milo on the right!

I love you, mom!  Welcome home!

A big big big big big thank you to everyone who helped with this!  

Day 14: Human Rights Victories

Jordan and I have been turning our phones off at night just to spend time together without distractions and it has been an amazing thing for us!  We are really enjoying being able to spend time with one another without wondering what's going on in our social media and personal messaging.  If you've never tried this, I highly suggest it.

Now, I'm sure you're all expecting me to write about the supreme court victories, right?  Of course I am!

Jordan and I watched C-SPAN all morning waiting for the results...and it was worth the wait!

The Windsor and Perry cases have come to a close and we are now two steps closer to national equality.  DOMA was found unconstitutional and Prop 8 was found to have no legal standing.  So, what does that mean for those of us who do not live in a state where gay marriage is legal?   A LOT.  With DOMA being repealed, they're opening up the senate floor to reintroduce the Respect for Marriage Act.  With this one legal action, legally married same-sex couples, regardless of what state they reside in, would be able to receive the 1,000+ federal benefits currently offered to heterosexual couples.  Under federal law, we would be eligible for all rights and benefits, regardless of our residency.  So, if you and your partner lived in North Carolina and took a trip to 1 of the 13 states that offer same-sex marriages legally, went to the courthouse and signed those papers...you would receive federal benefits even though you still live in North Carolina.  Federally, your marriage would be recognized.  We still have a long way to go and I have a feeling it will be a while before southern states legalize same-sex marriage, but we are on a great road and Jordan and I are very excited about it!

If you would like more information on the supreme court cases, a great resource is: http://www.hrc.org/.  If you want the more simple, less wordy version...HRC's tumblr is probably a better resource for you: click here.

Today, while we know we have a long way to go, we also have a lot to celebrate.  Hold your head high and keep your hearts open...because we've only just begun to see changes in this country!  Those who have struggled before us, those who are struggling now, and all of the generations to come, will fight for equality no matter how long the road is.  We are passionate and we are determined.  And someday, we will be married!!

"We can now tell our children that they are just as special as every child with married parents, because we are all equal." -Perry's Victory Statement

P.S. Let's not forget to applaud Wendy Davis and her 13 hour filibuster.  Thank you, Wendy -- Texas loves you! #standwithwendy

Day 13: Reunited (Almost)

JUST TWO MORE DAYS!!!

I haven't talked about this on my blog yet because if I share it with you guys, then I'll get questions about updates...and if I update you too much, I'll keep count...and if I keep count, I'll get WAY TOO EXCITED!!!  But the total truth is, I'm completely stoked.  I'm not sure why, because even after those two days it will be a while before I get what I'm really looking forward to, but in two days, we get a tiny step closer.

I guess you're wondering what I'm excited about, right?  "Mom" is coming home from Bahrain in TWO DAYS!!!!!!!  WHAT?!  Yes, she's returning to the states!  I haven't seen her since Christmas and a lot has changed since then.  We're both living in new places, with new additions to both of our families.  A few months ago, I wasn't sure if she'd ever move back to the states so it's pretty surreal that it's actually happening!  She's acquired a fiance during her stay in Bahrain.  She's bringing home a soldier and from what I hear he's a pretty amazing guy.

Even though she'll be back in the states in two days, I'm not sure how long it will be before I actually get to see her.  She'll be living about 1100 miles north from us, so we have a bit of a journey before an actual visit occurs, but it will be nice to be able to pick up the phone and call or text her whenever I want!

Safe travels, mom!  Be careful -- I love you!

Day 12: Welcome Home

Jonathan Allen, 20 Years Old, Opera Singer

I'm watching America's Got Talent this morning.  Actually, I have America's Got Talent on the TV while I pay bills, catch up on some work, and read up on Lauder's product improvements.  I wasn't paying much attention to the show until a 20 year old opera singer named Jonathan Allen stepped on the stage.  I looked up from my computer and everything around me stopped.  I wasn't worried about anything I had going on when I heard Jonathan's story.  Howie Mandel asked Jonathan if he had his family's support in his pursuit of opera and his next words hit too close to home: "My parents don't support me.  They kicked me out on my 18th birthday because I told them I loved Opera and I told them that I'm gay."

Jonathan Allen, I've been there.  I know where you are right now.  I know how hard it is to build yourself from a hurt that deep.  I know how hard it is just to graduate high school.  I remember the days of food stamps, always running on empty, and taking every bit of help you're offered.  Going to school from 9-4, sleeping from 5-10, working from 11-7, and getting ready for the day all over again.  I know what it feels like to lose every dream you ever had because survival is all you can focus on.  I get it.  And I'm here to say congratulations.  You've followed your dreams.  You've beat the odds.  And you've given hope to every kid that has ever, will ever, and is now going through what you've been through.  At 20 years of age, that's incredible.

My friends and I here in Asheville, NC would like to say thank you for not giving up on your dreams and for being who you are regardless of what the world around you says.  From us here in the blog world, we say congratulations on how far you've come.  And from everyone who's been where you've been, good luck -- We're on your side!

"We love you.  We accept you.  And we're so proud that you came here.  This is your new family.  Welcome home." -Howie Mandel

Day 11: Following Courage

A friend sent me a link to a blog yesterday and I must admit, I was extremely intrigued by the title of the blog: Discarded Daughter.  The name is simple, but so full of pain and worthlessness.  The words hurt me to hear, but are strangely beautiful.  I like to read other blogs, but not too often because if I have too many on my list, I won't keep up with them all.  However, the friend that sent me this is a fellow blogger and I very much enjoy her writings, so I clicked.  The title of the post that came up was "My Name is Courage."  I knew, from that, that I was going to be a follower.  I immediately began reading through.  It seems to be a fairly new blog, but what was posted was awesome!  I'm very excited about Courage and her upcoming posts.  So, I'm sure you're wondering by now where you too can read about Courage...Well, if you'd like to follow the story of a girl raised in a very Christian home as a true follower of Christ who eventually became "discarded" because of her sexuality, then click here!

I'd also like to link someone that I've been following for a while now.  This is the friend that sent me the link to Discarded Daughter.  She writes a bit of everything, mostly surrounding around human rights.  She's a very witty person and I love her style.  Actually, I'm surprised I haven't mentioned her before!  She's an anonymous blogger, which I think is super awesome.  It's hard to describe her blog because it's really applicable to everyone, but especially those with homosexual thoughts and religious convictions (because the two are NOT mutually exclusive).  One thing I really like about her is that she writes about the world and things around her, not just her life.  It's refreshing and I always learn something while browsing her.  Give her a glance here!

Other blogs that I follow?
http://cjstmi.blogspot.com/
http://abrandnewline.wordpress.com/
http://redemptionpictures.com/
http://www.postsecret.com/
http://www.kaelynandlucy.com/

There are more that I check every now and then and if someone sends me a link to their blog directly and asks me to read it, I always do.  However, the ones I have mentioned in this post are my "consistent reads."

Changing the subject a bit, I have a quick update...tons of good news, really!  We found the newest member of our family.  Her name is Lucy.  She's a 6 pound Shitzu, that will be around 10 pounds when we get her back up to a healthy weight.  We rescued her from a shelter and she's the sweetest little girl.  Milo loves her. Jordan adores her!  She's been a great addition!  Also, Jordan has a new job and it's been a wonderful adjustment for us.  We work about 15 feet away from each other now and we're saving SO much time and money by carpooling to work.  She likes the job much more as well!  So, there are good things happening here in the Poole household!

I know this post is very different from my usual, so in honor of my usual writings, I'll end with a spoken word poem:

"But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you and I choose both ."

Day 10: Dog Lovers

"Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

I wasn't a child that asked for much growing up.  I didn't ask for new toys or new opportunities.  I wasn't a toy person.  I spent most of my time outside with my brothers.  We had fake guns that were probably 15 years old by the time I got them.  We had a basketball goal, a play set, a trampoline, dogs, and each other...and that's where I spent most of my time.  I learned to love basketball, probably because I was good at it.  Our play set was actually really cool.  It had one and two person swings, a gymnastic bar, and a seat that spun you around.  The trampoline came a little later in life, but Bekah and I absolutely loved it!  We would stay out there for hours doing flips, playing popcorn, and bouncing each other as high as we could.  We had several dogs, but MY dog was the best one of all.  I picked her out at the pound when I was 3. She was the ugliest, scrawniest, most awkward dog you've ever seen and I loved her.  She was an Australian shepherd and probably 52 other things as well.  Her coat was black and gray so I named her Pepper.  She was about 60 pounds and 3 years old and I wanted to be her best friend.  We were best friends.  She went everywhere with me and we got more love and affection from one another than we ever could have imagined.  Big dogs don't normally make it past 12 years old and my parents started preparing me for Pepper's death when we both turned 11.  However, that dog lived 19 years!  It was hard to see her go...her death was the reason I went home the first time after moving out.

I don't know what it is about the companionship and unconditional love that an animal brings, but I can't imagine my life without a dog.  However, I think just like people, you have to have a connection with your dog - something innate, that can't be cultivated.  Bekah had a dog as well.  Her name was Whisper.  I really never cared much for Whisper.  Obviously, I fed her and gave her water and made sure she was taken care of, but as far as cuddling and loving on a dog, Whisper wasn't the one I spent any time with.  When Jordan and I decided to get a dog, I picked out a super cute one online and sent her to get him.  Eli was a dog that we were both able to connect with, but he outgrew us.  He was supposed to be 25 pounds MAX...when we found him a new family he was 60 pounds and needed way more space than what we had to offer.  He needed room to run all day long.  It was hard to let him go, but we knew it was best for us and him.  We still talk to his new owners and get updates on how he's doing.  He's really in excellent hands and we feel like we made the best decision for him.

Losing Eli, even though we knew it was best for him, left us feeling pretty empty.  It wasn't long before we decided that we would be getting another dog.  I picked this one out on my own.  Jordan didn't even meet him until he was ours.   When I brought Milo home, Jordan hated him.  She thought he was mean and didn't like to be touched.  I loved him.  From the very first minute I saw him, I knew I loved him.  She knew that I was already smitten and that we were going to be keeping him.  After a few weeks of Milo being in our home, he began to warm up to Jordan.  He's definitely MY dog - he cries for me, sleeps with me, cuddles with me, and won't go anywhere without me...but he loves Jordan too and still identifies with her.

So, we've been talking a lot lately about adding a new member to our family.  Children are a long way off for us because we're waiting until Jordan is finished with graduate school, has a career, and a house.  We think we need to be more settled down than we are now.  So we're at a place where we want another little furry creature to be a part of our family.  More so for Jordan than me.  We want a dog that she connects with, just like I do with Milo.  However, we also need for Milo and this new dog to get along.  We don't want another senior because Milo is already 8 1/2 years old and we can't stand the thought of losing two of them at once.  Jordan doesn't want a puppy because she's over potty training and chewing.  I have to have a hypoallergenic dog because my allergies are much more severe than they once were.  So we're searching.

We're excited for the new addition, but exhausted from the hunt.  We are very particular in our needs and we're looking for that connection.  We plan on spending the day finding a new friend...we'll see where this takes us.  Like Jordan always says, "if it's meant to happen, it will."

Wish us luck!

Day 9: What I Believe to be True

When someone finds out I'm gay, my two least favorite responses are:

1. You don't look gay.
2. How do you feel about what the bible says about that?

These two responses make me feel like I'm not only being judged by my sexuality, but also my appearance and religious beliefs.  I have to look a certain way to be gay?  Are you kidding me!  That's the oldest line in the book.  You have to be tall to play basketball or have dreadlocks to work at Mellow Mushroom.  I mean, really?  If I decide to date a woman, I have to shave my head and buy a pair of cargo pants?  No. Absolutely not.  I will not be caught dead in cargo.  

How do I feel about what the bible says about that?  Well, let me just say, if this is your first response, you are not very compassionate at all...which is something that Christian's preach.  Secondly, someones religious beliefs are a pretty private thing.  I know preacher's preach about living outwardly and sharing your beliefs with everyone you meet, but how often do you walk up to someone and say "Hi, I'm a (fill in the blank with religious background)."  So, while the question in itself is ultra offensive, it's also invasive.  Religion is one of those topics that start pretty heated debates.  If you really want to know, ask a gay person that you're more acquainted with, not someone you just met.

However, to satisfy your will to know about my religious beliefs on homosexuality, here they are.  Keep in mind that these are my beliefs.  Everyone's beliefs will differ.  Also, this is merely a brief overview...

• I do believe in God.  I'm particularly fond of the ECLA practices (liberal Lutheran's, basically).  If I had to label myself, it would be something like "Christian with an open mind to other's beliefs."
• I believe that parts of each religion are true.  While I do not think you can ignore the parts you just don't like, it's also acceptable to explore other religions and realize that Buddhism's three universal truths and Hinduism's Maya are applicable teachings to our daily lives, even if we don't necessarily agree with the religion as a whole.  This is something that I realized long before I met Jordan.  Actually, we can thank my 10th grade world history teacher for this (I did listen to you Mrs. Brasher)!
• I believe in Karma.  I think that all we can do in life is strive to be a good person and hope that those good things come back around to us.  I believe that you get out of life what you put into it.  I strive to do good things and to be a good person.  I pray and I believe.  And I do things that bring others joy and hope that those things come back around to me.
• I believe that God gave us a soul mate.  There's a possibility that he gave us more than one soul mate. I believe that God put that person here to love us and better us and we are to do the same for them.  When you find that person, you shouldn't let them go because you're missing the love that God put here for you.  I don't think God would allow me to have such strong feelings for a person if it were wrong to love them.
• I have read the bible several times through and I know the very explicit old testament verses that reflect on homosexuality.  I also know that there are none of those verses in the new testament.  In the old testament, we're asked to make animal sacrifices and experience plagues and we don't believe those things anymore either.  The new testament was written for new times, which is why I find those books more applicable to my daily life.  I do not think homosexuality is a sin.
• I believe in a forgiving and compassionate God.  If I get to heaven (or whatever afterlife there happens to be), and God tells me that he wasn't happy with my life partner, I think he'll finish that statement with "but I am happy with the life you lived - a life of happiness and kindness - and the love and commitment that you showed to Jordan."  And he will let me in.
• I believe that the big bang was planned by a higher being.  I think the world started that way (I mean, science strongly suggests it), but it was all orchestrated by a higher power.
• I believe that we are to love one another, despite our differences and make every effort to strive towards a unified goal: to make the world a better place.
• I believe that people get so caught up in the social framework of religion that they forget to search for what they find true to themselves.  I encourage people to read sacred texts other than their own and really keep an open mind to them.  Try to find who you are rather than making yourself into something other people tell you that you need to be.
• Finally, I believe that we often forget who religious figure heads are.  Preachers and leaders and cardinals and even the pope are still just human.  These men and women have dedicated their life to their religious practices, but we often forget that their teachings are merely their interpretation of their respective sacred texts.  In order to find what you believe, you have to read them on your own.  Self discovery is key.

My beliefs are different than Jordan's even.  She believes in a more conservative interpretation of the bible, but also in not interfering with the way other's choose to live their lives. Obviously, she's a little more complex than that, but that's for her to share, not me.  The point is, not all homosexuals will give you the same answer when you ask them what they believe to be true.  Just like not all heterosexuals will give you the same answer when you ask them what they believe to be true.  Shocking, right?

Don't be so quick to assume that gay people aren't religious.  Because some are.  Some aren't.  And either way, you should just love them, the best way you know how.