You Only Live Once

Warning: This post may bear no relevance to your life whatsoever and will probably be the most annoying thing you've ever read. Enjoy.

You only live once.  Physically, this statement is true.  You are born once, you have one life, and you will die one time.  However, I disagree with the sentiment "you only live once."

We go through stages in life.  When you are a new born, walking isn't something you are capable of doing.  In this instance, no one would ever say "oh, you can do it!  You have to!  Ya know, you only live once..."  It's a dangerous statement.  If we are able to entertain the very logical idea that newborns are not yet ready to walk, then why can't we believe that there are other emotional, physical, and mental opportunities that we aren't yet ready for.  We don't pressure our babies to do things we aren't ready for...why isn't it okay to ask life to slow down as an adult??

I'm young.  I have a lot of life left in me.  I'm finally happy with where my life is and the direction it is headed in and I can't remember a time when I felt that way.  Asheville has been an amazing change for me.  I've felt myself grow stronger and happier just in the two short weeks we've been here.  I care about myself, my home, and my family more.  Something about this move has really sparked life within me.  I am passionate about my job.  I am fearlessly determined to take on new challenges.  But at the same time, there are things that aren't so important to me that people seem to be adamant that I express concern for.  I keep hearing this phrase "you only live once."  Yes, you do.  It's true, you should take every opportunity that life hands you.  However, because you only live once, you should also cherish being able to slow down and appreciate the opportunities you've been given.  I am always hungry for more life and more adventure.  It's in my DNA to be that way.  But lately, I've felt a strong desire to say "yes, I only live once and with this one precious life I've been given I'd like to enjoy the happiness I've gained in this town for just a little while.  I'd like to settle in to something that feels so surreal and just enjoy the happiness we've created for ourselves."  Jordan and I are happy with where we are.  That's not to say that we aren't striving to better ourselves and each other every day...it just means that we want to feel content for just a little while before we entertain new ideas.  We've just begun to crawl here...we aren't quite ready to run.  So, we'll take our lives and live them to the fullest...by being grateful for what we have and not rushing new quests.

On a completely different note, someone got under my skin today.  The kind of way that makes you want to go home, take a shower, go back to bed and wake up as a different person.  Her words cut me deep "WHO thought YOU were qualified to do this job?  I don't like you."  Rejection hits hard.  I'm not sure what I said or did that offended this woman so much, but it hurt me to hear her words.  "Qualified?  I am!  I know I'm great at what I do.  Look at my numbers.  Look at my records.  Ask my customers.  They love me!  Likable?  I try!  I really do!  Please ma'am...see me for me!  Look at how happy I was to greet you.  See how long I spent making my makeup perfect today so that you would ask me about my blush or mascara?  Do you know how hard I've worked for THIS??"  Those were the words that were screaming inside of me!  Who was this woman to question my value to this company?  I was taken aback.  And I wanted to cry.  But instead of retaliation, I gulped back tears and said "I am so sorry," (which I genuinely meant) "What can I do for you to make this experience better?"  There was no pleasing this woman which I quickly realized.  So not only was I hurt to the deepest part of me, she also left unhappy, which made everything worse.

A familiar pain came over me.  This woman, who barely knew my name, had judged my entire personality based on one short interaction.  I work as hard as I possibly can at my job.  I consistently deliver results.  When I'm not working in the store, I'm at home learning, watching tutorials and reading materials that will better my skills.  I take every interaction with my customers personally.  I keep up with birthdays and surgeries.  I call them just to say hi and tell them that I miss seeing them.  I do everything in my power to ensure they have a positive experience.  And more than anything, I take away the salesmanship.  While my job is to make sales goals, drive numbers, and achieve results, you will never feel that pressure from me in my chair.  At the end of our time together, I don't care if you make a purchase or not.  If the experience made you feel beautiful, whole, relaxed, worthy, or empowered, I have done my job.  I want you to want the products, I do.  I believe in them.  They are among the best in the market for achieving results and I personally use them on a daily basis.  However, if (for whatever reason) I do a full consultation with you and you don't buy a thing, I'm never upset about it as long as the experience made you feel good.  I want women to see themselves as beautiful as they truly are.  That is why I do what I do.  I want to give women empowerment and and self-worth...if that happens to come in a little brown bottle labeled Advanced Night Repair, so be it.

The point is, hearing that this woman thought I wasn't good at the one thing I'm most passionate about really hurt me.  It brought me back to times when I felt worthless and hopeless.  I wish I could just have 5 minutes on the phone with her to tell her how much I care.  I wish she could see the part of me that aches to mend our experience.  I also hope that our interaction didn't affect her as much as it has affected me.  I am defeated right now.  However, I am determined to grow from this experience.  I will be brave enough to go back to work tomorrow, with a smile on my face and say "hey, I'm not going anywhere because I know that I am great at what I do.  I know that these women enjoy spending time with me, learning how to build their confidence and beauty.  I will continue to add a little sparkle to the lives of those around me, regardless of who stands in my way."

Rejection has hurt me, but it will not ruin me.

"...Because 'no' just means 'not now.'" -Maggie Turner