A Broken System

"An important question in psychiatry shouldn't be what's wrong with you, but rather what's happened to you." -Eleanor Longden

We don't have to live our lives forever defined by the damaging things that have happened to us.

Read that statement again.  Let it sink in.  Allow yourself to believe it.  You are unique.  You are irreplaceable.  And those qualities are not undermined by your life events.  The heartache you've experienced is not the person you are.  Of course, our experiences shape us and reveal new lessons to us.  However, that does not mean that we are only what we experience.  Stop letting your damage define you.

Too many times in the mental health field, we are asked to describe our symptoms, but not the reasoning behind them.  This leads to young adults all over the country being diagnosed, drugged, and discarded.  Doctor's have come to treat their patients like Prozac and a good night's sleep will cure you.  Why are we so scared to talk about it?  Why is pain such an uncomfortable topic of conversation?

I was lucky to have a therapist, Emily, that gave me the best care I could have asked for.  I received care that was catered to my needs.  I couldn't have found a better match for me.  My therapist contributed more to my mental health recovery than anyone else in my life.  She also advocated for me more than anyone else in my life.  However, she did something even greater for me than that: she empowered me to save myself.

Emily had an unshakable belief that my shattered self could become healed and whole.  This is not the case for many other therapists have I have interacted with.  Of the five therapists I interacted with over an expanded period of time, there are two that I felt believed in me and my recovery, Emily and Dr. Birma-Gainor.  Of my five interactions with behavioral health units, I do not recall one single individual that was critical to my recovery, other than a UNCG psychiatry STUDENT who took the time to listen to all that I had to say.  Of my interactions with the Guilford Center, Dan Sanders is the only person I recall really listening to and creating a plan of action for my needs.  Of the four care-givers involved in my intensive outpatient program, there was one that lead me to healing, Shannon.  Other than these 5 influential people, I received more support and care from those in the same state of recovery as me and from the friends and family members rooting for me than I did from the doctors, nurses, and counselors who were supposed to "fix" me.  While I am incredibly fortunate for those 5 individuals, I am equally as disappointed in the 500 that allowed me to merely fall through the system.

I say all of this to say that the system is broken.  It shouldn't have gone on as long or as far as it did before I received care that worked.  There needs to be a change in the system. I don't have the solution for changing psychiatric care as a whole, but I can see the problem.  The system allows too many people to fall through the cracks.  Each individual needs to be nurtured differently...the system doesn't allow for that either.  We are all different...a great doctor once pointed out to me that we ask the question the wrong way:  "Don't tell me what other people have told you about yourself.  Tell me about you."  -Dr. Birma-Gainor