How To Be Brave

"Show me how big your brave is." -Sara Bareilles, Brave

At this point in my life, I've taken down the rear view mirror and left my past exactly where it belongs, in the past.  I've made decisions that I'm not proud of and I have mistakes that I probably wouldn't make today.  There things that have happened to me that I'd rather forget.  But overall, I've learned that you have to live by learning from your regrets rather than letting them smother you.  Unfortunately, this sentiment is much easier said than done.

It takes some bravery to say "the past is over and that's all it will ever be."  I believe in healing from your past, but regardless, you can't change it.  You have to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that you create and forgive yourself for creating them.  I have a whole post on regrets that you can read by clicking here, so I won't spend too much time on regrets today.  What I'd like to focus more on is bravery and how much of it it take to live your life.

Everyone should give themselves a pat on the back for making it this far.  Whether you're reading this at age 13 or 103, you've lived this long and you've done a pretty good job.  Sure, there are things you would have done differently, but ultimately you're alive and that's something to be proud of.  So go ahead, congratulate yourself for a job well done.  And now, let's plan for how we can be brave enough to take on the rest of our lives.

Bravery is a courageous behavior or character.  That's Webster's definition.  I define it quite differently.  To me, bravery is going to work after a loved one died.  It's saying sorry after a fight.  It's admitting that you're wrong.  It's allowing yourself to find true love.  It's being who you are despite what your family thinks.  It's pursuing your dreams.  Bravery is living life they way you imagine it, rather than following someone else's ideals.  It's also something that comes and goes.  You don't have to be brave all the time.  Sometimes bravery is a fleeting moment and sometimes it hangs around for weeks, months, or even years.  Sometimes I feel very brave, but other times I don't feel brave at all.  Sometimes bravery comes easily for me, and other times I have to work at it.  And sometimes, I need someone else to be brave for me.

That is the tricky part: allowing someone to be brave for you.  We live in a society that preaches independence and self-reliance when really we should lean on all of the people around us that we possibly can.  I always say I'm not a hugger.  I'm sure there are many of you like me.  I'm not someone that hugs.  I don't particularly like to be touched and I'm not a sappy person, generally.  Moving to Asheville hasn't made that much of an option for me.  EVERYONE here likes to hug.  I get hugged by strangers several times a day.  But I've found that it's not so bad.  It's something that connects people.  It's a way of saying "I hear you and it will be okay," without actually using words.  It's comforting and healing.  It's also very brave.  Offering an open embrace to someone that you don't know or even to someone that you know very well is an amazing act of bravery.  You're saying "Hi. I know you need someone to help you through this.  I'm here, I'm open.  Let me share this burden with you."   That is beautiful.  And it is brave.

So I'd like to propose this: what if we tried one brave thing a day.  Be it giving someone a hug or trying to cook something you think you can't.  What if we gave ourselves just 10 seconds a day to do something we wouldn't normally do.  I think it will teach us a lot about ourselves.  I think it would allow us to feel liberated.  Let's see how it goes...let's start with being brave enough to take the first step and accept this challenge.