Matter of Opinion

I am gay.  I am married.  I do not support gay marriage.

Generally, I keep my political views to myself.  Now, bear with me because this blog post is not about politics, but you do need a bit of background information before we jump into this.  I learned early on in my relationship with Jordan that she is MUCH more liberal than I am.  Out of respect for one another, we keep our political commentary to a minimum and when we do discuss politics, it is calmly and respectfully -- without intent of changing one another's minds.  I voted for Obama and so did she.  That's no surprise, I'm sure.  However, Jordan voted for Obama because she likes him.  I voted for Obama because, in my opinion, he's the lesser of the two evils.  Now, I promised I wouldn't get too deep into the political realm, so let's get to the point.

This post is about ignorance.  For some reason, everyone thinks that all gays have the same left-winged political agenda.  This isn't true.  Let's take the biggest political issue in the LGBT community: gay marriage.

I believe in equal rights.  However, I believe that marriage is a religious institution.  Due to separation of church and state, I believe that each individual church should be allowed to decide whether or not to marry a couple, be it gay or straight.  If the church decides that they would like to marry gays, let them!  If they don't want to, don't ask them to!  I wouldn't want the church to be able to implement their ideas on to our government, so why should the government be able to mandate ideas to the church?  I believe that the standards of a civil union should be brought to par with the standards of a marriage in terms of tax breaks, benefits, etc.  I believe that all states should acknowledge the union between same sex couples in the same manner that they would a heterosexual couple and that the "hoops" you have to jump through to obtain same sex couple benefits should be minimized.  However, the actual concept of marriage is not something that I believe the government should be allowed to control.

Jordan's argument is that her union with me is a commitment to be with me forever, through thick and thin.  That union would be no different if we were "permitted" to be married or not.  So, why is there a stipulation that says "you can make a commitment to be together forever, but you can't make a legally binding commitment to be together forever."  Jordan believes that marriage has been reformed and is no longer merely a religious commitment.  She says "atheists get married, what's the difference?"

The point is, we both have different views.  We both have opinions.  Just because we're gay, doesn't mean we're both super liberal.  Now, if gay marriage were legal in NC, would I go to the courthouse and file the paperwork?  Absolutely.  But it would be purely for legality issues -- being able to change my name on public record, etc.  We are "married."  I don't need a church to confirm that for me.

So, as Obama's second term begins, keep your mind open.  Don't be so quick to judge and stereotype and group people together.  There are people who will surprise you.  And there are opinions of others that actually make sense.  Just listen and see where it gets you.