If you saw Jordan and I separately, in a public place, you wouldn't think that either of us are gay. When people find out I'm married, they immediately assume I have a husband...the same thing happens to Jordan. It's always fun for us to see the surprised looks on people's faces when they realize that we are both feminine. We both look like girls. We both act like girls. We both do our hair and wear makeup. We both get dressed up and wear jewelry. And there's nothing wrong with that.
My favorite comment people make is "which one of you is the man?" WHAT?! Neither of us. I married a woman. If I wanted to marry a man, I would have. If I wanted the woman that I married to look, talk, and dress like a man, I probably should have married a man. I don't want to marry a man, thus, I do not want my wife to be a man. After we respond that we are both women, there's no men involved (that's, quite literally, the definition of lesbian), they usually try to guess. Now, if we are looking at who's more girly, your assumptions are probably wrong. Yes, I am more into designers and fashion. I love all things sparkly. But, every time we move, the person who is most eager to decorate the apartment is ALWAYS Jordan. As soon as the furniture is in she's running around deciding where to put what. And guess who pulls out the nails and hammer and hangs it all? ME! That's right -- when the door broke, I fixed it. When the screw came out of one of our kitchen chairs, I fixed it. When the toilette is clogged, I plunge. Jordan is most certainly not the "handy(wo)man." Now, when we go out, who's more likely to wear a dress? That's me, for sure. It's not that Jordan doesn't like dresses...she owns several. She just dresses for comfort, while I dress for style. We both like sports. She prefers basketball (because it's indoors and she hates cold weather). I'm a football fan. In our house, we support the Carolinas - she's a UNC fan, I'm a USC fan. We don't really watch pro sports, other than the Superbowl. We both enjoy video games, though I definitely play more than she does. We read the same types of books. We watch the same types of movies. She's more emotional than I am, but I am much more free-spirited.
Believe it or not, this is actually more common than you think. Two women, being in a relationship, without definition of who is the "man" and who is the woman. One of my favorite youtubers, Lucy from kaelynandlucy, posted to tumblr on the topic back in June. She writes:
Kaelyn and I have never discussed who should wear the trousers (I use the term ‘should’ through gritted teeth - ‘should’ indicates obligation and duty - bitch please, far from it!), because, quite simply, it never occurred to us. Moreover, it’s unnecessary. We don’t need a power struggle. We are in a lesbian relationship - no males involved - so why would we need a man, and why does one person need to have power over the other in a relationship?
What’s so wrong with being equal?
The point is, we are two women. It hurts our feelings when you call one of us a man. Neither of us want to be seen as a masculine person. "She's the man in the relationship," isn't something that we want to hear. It's the equivalent to me calling your husband a girl or your wife a boy. We are equals. We are a partnership. We exist together and separately...as women. Why would we put such limitations on our relationship? How about just letting us love each other without the label?
"New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are 'same sex' marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex." - Bill Maher
If you would like to read the rest of Lucy's post, click here. Seriously, check it out -- she's awesome! And when you're done there, check out the kaelynandlucy youtube channel. Be sure to hit that subscribe button...they love it when you do!
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