Thankful for Struggles

I got a message on Facebook yesterday about my blog.  It always makes me happy to get feedback and comments.  Sometimes people share their stories and sometimes they thank me for sharing mine.  Sometimes people share encouraging words and sometimes they just say they enjoy reading.  But the message I got yesterday took me off guard.  It was full of so much emotion -- it was like this woman could feel what I was feeling when I wrote the blog.  That made me happy... it also broke my heart.  I didn't know what to say back to such a moving message.  Despite what you may think, I'm not very good at articulating my feelings.  It's easier via blog because it's not geared towards one person.  But to an individual, your words are so much more personal.  What you say, or don't say, has so much more of an impact when said to an individual, than it does when said to a group.

I'm not going to share the message with you, because it was rather personal.  I don't like to expose others' vulnerability, that's a personal choice.  However, I will share my response.

I think sometimes we have to go through a lot to discover strength and understanding. We have to encounter pain, be it emotional or physical, to help us grow and become better, stronger, more confident people. You've experienced that first hand. If life were always good, we'd never appreciate it...and we'd never know what it means to love and be loved. It's when we are our weakest that we reach out to those around us. Pain has a power that no one will ever understand, but its a necessary evil, for sure. I'm at a place now where I'm grateful for how horribly coming out went for me. It gave me strength to become my own person and to stand up for who I am. It's also taught me not to take my life for granted. I think my experience makes me appreciate Jordan more because I had to fight so hard for her...and because she fought right alongside me the whole time. In the end, I got the girl of my dreams - that's something to celebrate (: So, don't feel bad for us. We're SO happy!! But I do appreciate you reading my blog and your words are so kind!

I'm sharing this because I want all of the people who read my coming out story to know that good did come from the suffering.  I'm thankful for my experience.  I'm thankful to have learned so much about myself - my strengths and my weaknesses.  I found out who my allies were.  I lost and gained many friendships.  I cried and I laughed.  But in the end, I made it out alive.  And that's something I'm truly grateful for.

"It is nothing to die.  It is frightful not to live."
-Victor Hugo, Les Miserables