Because we worked across the street from each other, we were in pretty close vicinity. When I got to work everyday, I looked to see if her car was in the parking lot. My parents would randomly show up at work or have someone they knew drop in and check on me, so I knew better than to walk into Moe's myself. So, if her car was in the parking lot, I would find someone at work that was either getting off or going to lunch and ask them to take a note to Moe's for me. They would take my note to her and she would send one back in exchange for one of us paying for that person's food. However, Jordan was in college about an hour and a half away, so she was only in town on the weekends. So, during the week, she would blog. It was never anything written directly to me, but always about me. She made sure that she gave me something to hold on to each week. I would check it every single day, even though I knew she wouldn't be able to post every day. I was waiting to hear something, anything...but more importantly, I was waiting to know that she was still in this with me. Her blogs would be written in the form of poems and it was done very anonymously so that if my parents ever saw it, they wouldn't be able to tie it back to her directly. Obviously, they would know. But they wouldn't be able to prove it. Sometimes, all I would get was something like this: You're on My Mind. But More often than not, it would be more like this: Just Within Our Reach.
We were smart about it. I made sure I trusted whoever I sent from Old Navy to Moe's. I erased the links from my computer history after I check the blog. I only looked at the blog from home when no one was there or from school. It's crazy to me how we've gone from having to communicate in secret to a married couple with a normal life. I must say, it was hard to hang on to something you never had proof of. But it ripped my heart out to imagine her not being there with me. I don't know how or why I loved Jordan so much so soon. I can honestly say, I still feel the same way about her. Love at first sight doesn't even come close to what I felt for her...what I still feel for her. She put up with so much to be with me. I don't know why. We both gave up so much. It would've been much easier for either of us to walk away...but we wouldn't be able to forget what we felt for each other. That's what held us together. I would do it all again tomorrow if it meant I got to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love.
From when we first met...
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