Day 9: What I Believe to be True

When someone finds out I'm gay, my two least favorite responses are:

1. You don't look gay.
2. How do you feel about what the bible says about that?

These two responses make me feel like I'm not only being judged by my sexuality, but also my appearance and religious beliefs.  I have to look a certain way to be gay?  Are you kidding me!  That's the oldest line in the book.  You have to be tall to play basketball or have dreadlocks to work at Mellow Mushroom.  I mean, really?  If I decide to date a woman, I have to shave my head and buy a pair of cargo pants?  No. Absolutely not.  I will not be caught dead in cargo.  

How do I feel about what the bible says about that?  Well, let me just say, if this is your first response, you are not very compassionate at all...which is something that Christian's preach.  Secondly, someones religious beliefs are a pretty private thing.  I know preacher's preach about living outwardly and sharing your beliefs with everyone you meet, but how often do you walk up to someone and say "Hi, I'm a (fill in the blank with religious background)."  So, while the question in itself is ultra offensive, it's also invasive.  Religion is one of those topics that start pretty heated debates.  If you really want to know, ask a gay person that you're more acquainted with, not someone you just met.

However, to satisfy your will to know about my religious beliefs on homosexuality, here they are.  Keep in mind that these are my beliefs.  Everyone's beliefs will differ.  Also, this is merely a brief overview...

• I do believe in God.  I'm particularly fond of the ECLA practices (liberal Lutheran's, basically).  If I had to label myself, it would be something like "Christian with an open mind to other's beliefs."
• I believe that parts of each religion are true.  While I do not think you can ignore the parts you just don't like, it's also acceptable to explore other religions and realize that Buddhism's three universal truths and Hinduism's Maya are applicable teachings to our daily lives, even if we don't necessarily agree with the religion as a whole.  This is something that I realized long before I met Jordan.  Actually, we can thank my 10th grade world history teacher for this (I did listen to you Mrs. Brasher)!
• I believe in Karma.  I think that all we can do in life is strive to be a good person and hope that those good things come back around to us.  I believe that you get out of life what you put into it.  I strive to do good things and to be a good person.  I pray and I believe.  And I do things that bring others joy and hope that those things come back around to me.
• I believe that God gave us a soul mate.  There's a possibility that he gave us more than one soul mate. I believe that God put that person here to love us and better us and we are to do the same for them.  When you find that person, you shouldn't let them go because you're missing the love that God put here for you.  I don't think God would allow me to have such strong feelings for a person if it were wrong to love them.
• I have read the bible several times through and I know the very explicit old testament verses that reflect on homosexuality.  I also know that there are none of those verses in the new testament.  In the old testament, we're asked to make animal sacrifices and experience plagues and we don't believe those things anymore either.  The new testament was written for new times, which is why I find those books more applicable to my daily life.  I do not think homosexuality is a sin.
• I believe in a forgiving and compassionate God.  If I get to heaven (or whatever afterlife there happens to be), and God tells me that he wasn't happy with my life partner, I think he'll finish that statement with "but I am happy with the life you lived - a life of happiness and kindness - and the love and commitment that you showed to Jordan."  And he will let me in.
• I believe that the big bang was planned by a higher being.  I think the world started that way (I mean, science strongly suggests it), but it was all orchestrated by a higher power.
• I believe that we are to love one another, despite our differences and make every effort to strive towards a unified goal: to make the world a better place.
• I believe that people get so caught up in the social framework of religion that they forget to search for what they find true to themselves.  I encourage people to read sacred texts other than their own and really keep an open mind to them.  Try to find who you are rather than making yourself into something other people tell you that you need to be.
• Finally, I believe that we often forget who religious figure heads are.  Preachers and leaders and cardinals and even the pope are still just human.  These men and women have dedicated their life to their religious practices, but we often forget that their teachings are merely their interpretation of their respective sacred texts.  In order to find what you believe, you have to read them on your own.  Self discovery is key.

My beliefs are different than Jordan's even.  She believes in a more conservative interpretation of the bible, but also in not interfering with the way other's choose to live their lives. Obviously, she's a little more complex than that, but that's for her to share, not me.  The point is, not all homosexuals will give you the same answer when you ask them what they believe to be true.  Just like not all heterosexuals will give you the same answer when you ask them what they believe to be true.  Shocking, right?

Don't be so quick to assume that gay people aren't religious.  Because some are.  Some aren't.  And either way, you should just love them, the best way you know how.